*puts my ipod on shuffle and skips every song until i get one i was hoping for*
Here’s a basic rule: if you’re reading or watching a Shakespeare play, and you’re not imagining the actors standing in front of a mosh pit of jeering Londoners waiting to throw vegetables at the stage, you’re doing it wrong.
Shakespeare might have written the best works in the English language, or given us profound insight into the nature of humanity, or whatever — but his works wouldn’t have survived to our day if he hadn’t been popular when he was alive, and he wouldn’t have been popular when he was alive if he hadn’t been able to please the crowd. And that includes a lot of dirty jokes. A lot.
Sometimes in incredibly inappropriate places. We’re here to rescue a few of those for you, and retroactively embarrass the heck out of your fourteen-year-old self, who had to stand up in English class and read things that, in retrospect, are absolutely filthy.
This isn’t about the stuff that always does crack fourteen-year-olds up in English class, but is totally innocent: the “bring me my long sword, ho!” sort of thing.
But the kids who lose it every time the word “ho” is uttered are closer to the spirit of Shakespeare than the teacher who demands they treat the words like museum pieces.
Sure, it would be awkward for teachers to explain the Elizabethan double entendres to their students — but pretending they don’t exist makes Shakespeare seem unnecessarily stuffy and difficult.
So we’re going to start with the most obvious innuendoes, and move on to some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind.
My professor used to say, “A dirty mind is a constant joy when reading Shakespeare.”(via crazylazy55555)
it dont matter where i am in the world who i am with what i am doing cuz if one direction’s new album leaks i will drop everything and be here in a flash and shout “squad !!!!” for 3 days
i’m not even going to wait until october this year
the ghost jokes have begun
Harry Potter au where Harry didn’t lose being a parsletongue and Albus buys a snake as a pet one year because snakes are cool and one day just walks in on Harry and the snake having a deep conversation
Bonus points if it’s the kids of the snake from the zoo.
'My mum always spoke kindly of you for freeing her'
my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’
standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”
Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.
support group for people who have had concerts by their favorite band near them but couldnt go
So i met this boy today for the first time and he made me smile a lot.
This is quite possibly my favorite picture
This is v cute but what is the girl on the stairs doing